~Lord Prop Us Up~

~Lord Prop Us Up~

Every time I am asked to pray, I think of the old deacon who always prayed, Lord, prop us up on our leanin' side.

After hearing him pray that prayer many times, someone asked him why he prayed that prayer so fervently. He answered, 'Well sir, you see, it's like this...I got an old barn out back. It's been there a long time. It's withstood a lot of weather, it's gone through a lot of storms, and it's stood for many years. It's still standing. But one day I noticed it was leaning to one side a bit. So I went and got some pine poles and propped it up on its leaning side so it wouldn't fall.

Then I got to thinking about that and how much I was like that old barn. I've been around a long time. I've withstood a lot of life's storms. I've withstood a lot of bad weather in life, I've withstood a lot of hard times, and I'm still standing too. But I find myself leaning to one side from time to time, so I like to ask the Lord to prop us up on our leaning side, cause I figure a lot of us get to leaning, at times.

Sometime we get to leaning toward anger, leaning toward bitterness, leaning toward hatred, leaning toward cussing, leaning toward a lot of things that we shouldn't. So we need to pray, 'Lord, prop us up on our leaning side, so we will stand straight and tall again, to glorify the Lord.

If you stare at this barn for a second you will see who will help us stand straight and tall again.

~Never Judge~

Never Judge

'Some people!' snorted a man standing behind me in the long line at the grocery store.

'You would think the manager would pay attention and open another line, said a woman. I looked to the front of the line to see what the hold up was and saw a well dressed, young woman, trying to get the machine to accept her credit card. No matter how many times she swiped it, the machine kept rejecting it.

'It's one of them welfare card things. Damn people need to get a job like everyone else,' said the man standing behind me. The young woman turned around to see who had made the comment. 'It was me,' he said, pointing to himself.

The young lady's face began to change expression. Almost in tears, she dropped the welfare card onto the counter and quickly walked out of the store. Everyone in the checkout line watched as she began running to her car. Never looking back, she got in and drove away.

After developing cancer in 1977 and having had to use food stamps; I had learned never to judge anyone, without knowing the circumstances of their life. This turned out to be the case today.

Several minutes later a young man walked into the store. He went up to the cashier and asked if she had seen the woman. After describing her, the cashier told him that she had run out of the store, got into her car, and drove away.

'Why would she do that?' asked the man. Everyone in the line looked around at the fellow who had made the statement. 'I made a stupid comment about the welfare card she was using. Something I shouldn't have said. I'm sorry, said the man.

'Well, that's bad, real bad, in fact. Her brother was killed in Afghanistan two years ago. He had three young children and she has taken on that responsibility. She's twenty years old, single, and now has three children to support,' he said in a very firm voice.

'I'm really truly sorry. I didn't know,' he replied, shaking both his hands about.

The young man asked, 'Are these paid for?' pointing to the shopping cart full of groceries. 'It wouldn't take her card,' the clerk told him.

'Do you know where she lives?' asked the man who had made the comment.

'Yes, she goes to our church.'

'Excuse me,' he said as he made his way to the front of the line. He pulled out his wallet, took out his credit card and told the cashier, 'Please use my card. PLEASE!' The clerk took his credit card and began to ring up the young woman's groceries.

Hold on,' said the gentleman. He walked back to his shopping cart and began loading his own groceries onto the belt to be included. 'Come on people. We got three kids to help raise!' he told everyone in line. Everyone began to place their groceries onto the fast moving belt. A few customers began bagging the food and placing it into separate carts. 'Go back and get two big turkeys,'yelled a heavyset woman, as she looked at the man. 'NO',yelled the man. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks. The entire store became quiet for several seconds. 'Four turkeys,' yelled the man. Everyone began laughing and went back to work.

When all was said and done, the man paid a total of $1,646.57 for the groceries.

He then walked over to the side pulled out his check book, and began writing a check using the bags of dog food piled near the front of the store for a writing surface. He turned around and handed the check to the young man. 'She'll need a freezer and a few other things as well,' he told the man.

The young man looked at the check and said, 'This is really very generous of you.'

'No,' said the man. 'Her brother was the generous one.'

Everyone in the store had been observing the odd commotion and began to clap And I drove home that day feeling very American.

We live in the Land of the free, because of the Brave!

Remember our Troops of Yesterday and Today!

A great example of why we should be kind and patient.

Kindness is the language the blind can see and the deaf can hear. -Mark Twain

~The Bathing Suit~

The Bathing Suit

When I was a child, the bathing suit for the mature figure was boned, trussed and reinforced, not so much sewn as engineered. They were built to hold back and uplift and they did a good job.

Today's stretch fabrics are designed for the prepubescent girl with a figure carved from a potato chip.

The mature woman has a choice- she can either go up front to the maternity department and try on a floral suit with a skirt, coming away looking like a hippopotamus who escaped from Disney's Fantasia or she can wander around every run of the mall department store trying to make a sensible choice from what amounts to a designer range of florescent rubber bands.

What choice did I have? I wandered around, made my sensible choice and entered the chamber of horrors known as the fitting room.

The first thing I noticed was the extraordinary tensile strength of the stretch material. The Lycra used in bathing costumes was developed, I believe, by NASA to launch small rockets from a slingshot, which give the added bonus that if you manage to actually lever yourself into one, you are protected from shark attacks as any shark taking a swipe at your passing midriff would immediately suffer whiplash. I fought my way into the bathing suit, but as I twanged the shoulder strap in place, I gasped in horror - my boobs had disappeared!

Eventually, I found one boob cowering under my left armpit. It took a while to find the other. At last I located it flattened beside my seventh rib.

The problem is that modern bathing suits have no bra cups. The mature woman is meant to wear her boobs spread across her chest like a speed bump. I realigned my speed bump and lurched toward the mirror to take a full view assessment.

The bathing suit fit all right, but unfortunately it only fit those bits of me willing to stay inside it. The rest of me oozed out rebelliously from top, bottom and sides. I looked like a lump of playdough wearing undersized cling wrap.

As I tried to work out where all those extra bits had come from, the prepubescent sales girl popped her head through the curtain, 'Oh, there you are,' she said, admiring the bathing suit.

I replied that I wasn't so sure and asked what else she had to show me. I tried on a cream crinkled one that made me look like a lump of masking tape, and a floral two piece which gave the appearance of an oversized napkin in a serving ring.

I struggled into a pair of leopard skin bathers with ragged frills and came out looking like Tarzan's Jane, pregnant with triplets and having a rough day.

I tried on a black number with a midriff and looked like a jellyfish in mourning.

I tried on a bright pink pair with such a high cut leg I thought I would have to wax my eyebrows to wear them.

Finally, I found a suit that fit...a two-piece affair with a shorts style bottom and a loose blouse-type top. It was cheap, comfortable, and bulge-friendly, so I bought it.

My ridiculous search had a successful outcome, I figured. When I got home, I found a label which read -- 'Material might become transparent in water.'

So, if you happen to be on the beach or near any other body of water this year and I'm there too....I'll be the one in cut off jeans and a t-shirt!

~Our Greatest Fear~

 Our Greatest Fear 

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant,

gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of

God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us;

it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,

we unconsciously give other people

permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

~Life~

LIFE

Life is often discouraging.

We seemingly do things right,
and nothing happens.

But for those who do things right
and are not discouraged

and are persistent,
things will begin to happen.

~Success~

SUCCESS

To laugh and love much;

To win the respect of intelligent people

and the affection of children;

To earn the approbation of honest critics

and endure the betrayal of false friends;

To appreciate beauty;

To give of one's self;

To find the best in others;

To leave the world a bit better,

whether by a healthy child,

a garden patch
or a redeemed social condition,

To have played
and laughed with enthusiasm

and sung with exultation;

To know lives I've touched

have breathed easier
because I have lived.

That is to have succeeded!

~His Reward~

HIS REWARD

Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting:
To eat, to drink, and enjoy oneself
in all of ones labors
in which he toils under the sun
during the few years of his life
which God has given him;

For this is his reward.

~Just For Today~

Just For Today

Smile at a stranger
Listen to someone's heart
Drop a coin where a child can find it
Learn something new,
then teach it to someone else
Tell someone you're thinking of them
Hug a loved one
Don't hold a grudge
Don't be afraid to say, "I'm sorry"
Look a child in the eye
and tell them how great they are
Don't kill that spider in your house,
he's just lost,
so show him the way out
Look beyond the face of a person
and into their heart
Make a promise, and keep it
Call someone,
for no other reason than to just say, "hi"
Show kindness to an animal
Stand up for what you believe in
Smell the rain, feel the breeze,
listen to the wind, enjoy the sun
Use all your senses to their fulliest
Cherrish all your TODAYS!

Great advise for today, any day and EVERY day!

~I Am A Military Brat~

~I Am A Military Brat~

My hometown is nowhere.
My friends are everywhere.
I grew up with the knowledge
that home is where the heart is
and the family....
With no dependence on the dwelling-

Mobility is my way of life.
Some would wonder about roots,
yet they are as deep and strong as the mighty oak.
I sink them quickly,
absorbing all an area offers
and hopefully, giving enrichment in return.

Travel has taught me to be open.
Shaking hands with the universe.
I find brotherhood in all men.
Farewells are never easy.
Yet, even in sorrow comes strength
and ability to face tomorrow
with anticipation....
And if when we leave one place,
I feel that half my world is left behind.
I also know that
the other half is waiting to be met.

Friendships are formed in hours
and kept for decades.
I will never grow up with someone,
but I will mature with many.
Be it inevitable that paths part,
there is constant hope
that they will meet again.

Love of country, respect and pride
fill my being when Old Glory passes in review.
When I stand to honor that flag,
so also do I stand in honor of all soldiers,
and most especially...
to the parents whose life created mine.

Because of this...
I have shared in the rich heritage of Military life.

I Miss The Beach

I miss the beach.

I want to be barefoot

-in the sand

-at the water's edge.

Feel the rush of the ocean.

I wanna feel the warm breeze.

Sleep under a palm tree.

~WARNING~

WARNING

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.
And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves
and satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired
And gobble up samples in the shops and press alarm bells
And run my stick along the public railings
And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain
And pick the flowers in other people's gardens
And learn to spit--

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat
And eat three pounds of sausages at a go
Or only bread and a pickle for a week
And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry
And pay our rent and not swear in the street
And set a good example for the children.
We must have friends to dinner and read the paper.

But maybe I ought to practice alittle for now?
So people who know me are not shocked and surprised
When suddenly I am old and start to wear purple.

Chocolate

Chocolate
One day I had a date for lunch with friends.
Mae, a little old 'blue hair' about 80 years old,
came along with them---all in all, a pleasant bunch.

When the menus were presented,
we ordered salads, sandwiches, and soups,
except for Mae who said,
'Ice Cream, please. Two scoops, chocolate.

I wasn't sure my ears heard right,
and the others were aghast.

'Along with heated apple pie,'
Mae added, completely unabashed.

We tried to act quite nonchalant,
as if people did this all the time.

But when our orders were brought out,
I didn't enjoy mine.

I couldn't take my eyes off Mae
as her pie a-la-mode went down.

The other ladies showed dismay.

They ate their lunches silently and frowned.

The next time I went out to eat,
I called and invited Mae.

I lunched on white meat tuna.
She ordered a parfait.

I smiled.

She asked if she amused me.

I answered, 'Yes, you do,
but also you confuse me.

How come you order rich desserts,
while I feel I must be sensible?

She laughed and said, with wanton mirth,
'I'm tasting all that is possible.

I try to eat the food I need,
and do the things I should.

But life's so short, my friend,
I hate missing out on something good.

This year I realized how old I was.

(she grinned)

I haven't been this old before.

'So, before I die, I've got to try those things
that for years I had ignored.

I haven't smelled all the flowers yet.

There are too many books I haven't read.

There's more fudge sundaes to wolf down
and kites to be flown overhead.

There are many malls I haven't shopped.

I've not laughed at all the jokes.

I've missed a lot of Broadway hits
and potato chips and cokes.

I want to wade again in water
and feel ocean spray on my face.

I want to sit in a country church once more
and thank God for His grace.

I want peanut butter every day
spread on my morning toast.

I want un-timed long distance calls
to the folks I love the most.

I haven't cried at all the movies yet,
or walked in the morning rain.

I need to feel wind in my hair.
I want to fall in love again.

So, if I choose to have dessert,
instead of having dinner,

then should I die before night fall,
I'd say I died a winner,

because I missed out on nothing.
I filled my heart's desire.

I had that final chocolate mousse
before my life expired.

With that, I called the waitress over..
'I've changed my mind, ' I said.

'I want what she is having,
only add some more whipped cream!

Strange Old Lady

A very weird thing has happened.

I have no idea who she is,

where she came from,

or how she got in.

I certainly didn't invite her.

All I know is that one day she wasn't here

and the next day she was.

She's very clever.

She manages to keep out of sight for the most part;

but whenever I pass a mirror,

I catch a glimpse of her there;

and when I look into a mirror directly

to check my appearance,

suddenly she's hogging the whole thing,

completely obliterating my gorgeous face and body.

It's very disconcerting.

I've tried screaming at her to leave

but she just screams back, grimacing horribly.

She's really rather frightening.

If she's going to hang around,

the least she could do is offer to pay rent.

But no...

Every once in a while I do find a couple

of dollar bills on the kitchen counter,

or some loose change on my bureau

or on the floor, but that certainly isn't enough.

In fact, though I don't like to jump to conclusions,

I think she steals money from me regularly.

I go to the ATM and withdraw a hundred dollars,

and a few days later, it's gone.

I certainly don't go through it that fast,

so I can only conclude

that the old lady pilfers it.

You'd think she'd spend some of it on wrinkle cream.

God knows, she needs it.

And the money isn't the only thing she's taking.

Food seems to disappear at an alarming rate.

Especially the good stuff

--ice cream, cookies, candy--

I just can't keep them in the house.

She really has a sweet tooth.

She should watch it;

she's really putting on the pounds.

I think she realizes that,

and to make herself feel better,

I know she is tampering with my scale

so I'll think that I'm gaining weight, too.

For an old lady, she's really

quite childish.

She also gets into my closets when I'm not home

and alters all my clothes.

They're getting tighter and tighter every day.

Another thing:

I wish she'd stop messing with my files

and the papers on my desk.

I can't find a thing any more.

This is particularly hard to deal with

because I'm extremely neat and organized;

but she manages to jumble everything up so

nothing is where it's supposed to be.

Furthermore, when I program my VCR

to tape something important,

she fiddles with it after I leave the room

so it records the wrong channel

or shuts off completely.

She finds innumerable,

imaginative ways to irritate me.

She gets to my newpapers, magazines,

and mail before me --

and blurs all the print;

and she's done something sinister

with the volume controls

on my TV, radio, and phone.

Now all I hear are mumbles and whispers.

She's also made my stairs steeper,

my vacuum cleaner heavier,

all my knobs and faucets hard to turn

and my bed higher --

it's a real challenge to climb into and out of.

Furthermore, she gets to my groceries as soon as I shelve them

and applies super glue to the tops of every jar

and bottle so they're just about impossible to open.

Is this any way to repay my hospitality?

I don't even get any respect at night.

More than once, her snoring has awakened me.

I don't know why she can't do

something about that.

It's very unattractive.

As if all this isn't bad enough,

she is no longer confining her malevolence to the house.

She's now found a way to sneak into my car with me

and follows me wherever I go.

I see her reflection in store windows as I pass.

And she's taken all the fun out of clothes shopping,

because her penchant for monopolizing mirrors

has extended to dressing rooms.

When I try something on, she dons and identical oufit-

-which looks ridiculous on her--

and then stands directly in front of me

so I can't see how great it looks on me!

I thought she couldn't get any meaner than that,

but yesterday she proved me wrong.

She had the nerve to come with me

when I went to have some passport pictures taken,

and she actually stepped in front of the camera

just as the shutter clicked.

Disaster!

I have never seen such a horrible picture.

How can I go abroad now?

No customs official is ever going

to believe that crone scowling from my passport is me.

She's walking on very thin ice.

If she keeps this up, I swear--

I'll put her in a home.

On second thought,

I shouldn't be too hasty.

First, I think I'll check with the IRS 

and see if I can claim her as a dependent.

What's a body to do??????